


Choosing the Play

by abcooper



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:09:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcooper/pseuds/abcooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanoff has been playing this game her entire life; it's a pleasure to have such a masterful opponent</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Natalie Rushman had liked Pepper Potts.  
  
It seemed like a good idea at the time, since getting close to Pepper was clearly the most efficient way to end up anywhere near Tony Stark. Well, second most efficient, but SHIELD had all those pesky morals about what she could do on a job. Natasha had gauged Ms Potts and seen boundless competence and an appreciation for that same quality in others. She had also seen a woman who was accustomed to being underappreciated by those closest to her, who perhaps had to get her satisfaction from other sources. Natalie Rushman, therefore, had been an extremely competent but inexperienced young woman, grateful for the opportunity to prove herself at a large company like Stark Industries, and somewhat in awe of the famous Pepper Potts.  
  
It wasn't until Stark invited her into the boxing ring, until she saw him pulling up the planted sexy photos - morals only went so far - and saw Pepper's widened eyes, the way she kept glancing at the screen and then quickly averting her gaze, that she figured out what was going to separate Natalie Rushman from all the other, equally qualified candidates who wanted to be in Pepper's good graces.  
  
So Natalie had developed a little crush on her boss. It had worked, and it had been easy. The occasional flustered blush on Natalie's otherwise impassive face, paired with iron efficiency and grace under pressure, and she became the new CEO's right-hand man practically overnight. They shared car rides so that they could discuss business, and then in the remaining time they had more casual conversations about movies they wouldn't have time to see, and about how businesswomen and dominatrixes ended up in shoes with similar heels. Once Pepper asked Natalie about her love life, and Natalie had blushed and stammered her way into admitting to being single without hitting any pronouns, and Pepper had smirked and looked pleased, like a woman who was well accustomed to being an object of interest and would take the flattery as her due. Only she'd been blushing just slightly, at the tips of her ears, and the part of Natalie's mind that was Natasha had made a note of it, that the famously in-control Pepper Potts had a tell.  
  
 Natalie Rushman had liked Pepper Potts. It was easy to like Pepper. But Natasha had started to like her too; the way that she could gracefully take control of any situation for as long as she needed to, and then go back into her office and break a lamp. She was like a Forbes version of the Hulk, becoming as strong as she needed to be to handle whatever was thrown at her.  
  
And then Stark Expo was destroyed, Natalie's cover was blown out of the water, and Pepper resigned. None of it really mattered, since Natasha had already filed her report, but she was nonetheless a little grateful not to have to face Pepper again. She was already familiar with the expressions of humiliated dislike that were induced by a blown civilian cover.  
  
Even if she had been inclined to dwell, SHIELD didn't give her the opportunity. Deep cover in Russia pushed the incident from her mind entirely. She never would have even thought about Pepper again, except that Fury disregarded her advisement against bringing Tony Stark onto the team, and then Stark seduced Banner with the promise of high-tech science labs, and Steve moved in with them because he had nowhere else to go, and suddenly Tony was saying persuasive things about team bonding and needing a central headquarters separate from SHIELD, and she and Clint were ignoring him and exchanging expressive eye rolls. And then a 2nd mission was fought as a team, and a 3rd, Tony had saved her life 4 times and she had only saved his 3 but nobody else was keeping score. Clint shrugged and smirked and said sure, why not, Stark is bound to have a better cable package than the SHIELD barracks, and when she came over to surreptitiously check it out she was amused to see that Tony hadn't fixed the lettering with the rest of the tower repairs, and there was no doubt what he intended the colossal letter 'A' to stand for. So she moved in.  
  
It all culminated in Natasha wandering into the kitchen early one morning clad in black leggings and a tank top which concealed only one deadly weapon to see Pepper standing by the chrome, futuristic coffee maker, absently twirling a mug around her finger by the handle as she waited for the water to finish heating up.  
  
Natasha coughed, and Pepper spun around. She was already dressed in her full professional get-up, and Tasha was very aware of the comparison, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Pepper was clearly someone who appreciated being in control; maybe the wardrobe imbalance would help her feel that she had regained some of it.  
  
"Morning." she offered hesitantly, a light, self-deprecating smile playing at her lips. She wanted Pepper to see that she was uncertain, to see humor in the situation and take pity on her. It was a good play; Pepper was a compassionate woman, she wouldn't kick someone who was already down.  
  
"Ms Rushman." Pepper offered back the greeting in a neutral tone; she wasn't falling for it. She turned back to the coffee machine, placed her mug under the dispenser, and entered some combination of buttons for her preferred morning drink - a double americano, Natasha remembered.  
  
"It's Romanoff - Natasha Romanoff." she offered back, an automatic correction, and then winced - it was a mistake to blatantly mention her previous deception, a mistake that Pepper deliberately set her up to make, she was sure. She shouldn't have forgotten that she was playing this game against an expert, even if Pepper's skills were honed in the boardroom rather than the seedy underbelly of international politics.  
  
Pepper smirked, triumphant. "Yes, of course - My apologies. You can see where I'd be confused, Agent Romanoff." She took a sip of her coffee, and Natasha busied herself making a piece of toast.  
  
"I'm sorry that the deception was necessary." she replied at last, deciding that there is no further point to beating around the bush.  
  
"Nothing to apologize for - you were just doing your job, and I was just doing mine." Pepper assured her, entirely composed. "And if you'll excuse me, I have to go do it again now." She quirked an amused eyebrow and began to walk out of the room, around the open counter to the wide windowed entertainment area that lay between the kitchen and the elevator. She looked entirely in control, but Natasha had learned her tells. She knew Pepper was hurt, and embarrassed, and uncomfortable.  
  
"Being friends with you wasn't part of the deception." Natasha blurted out; it wasn't the most convincing way she could have said it, but she knew the topic would be closed forever once Pepper left the room, and she knew that it was what bothered the other woman the most. It always was. But Pepper just shook her head.  
  
"If you can find a time when saying that isn't to your advantage, Ms. Romanoff, that's when I'll believe you."  
  
Natasha let her score the point without protest. Pepper was absolutely right; she would have said it whether it was true or not.  
  
**  
  
Natasha and Pepper avoided each other after that. Not blatantly; they both ended up everywhere that they were expected to be, and they both took part in all the conversations and the team bonding. It's just that somehow they never ended up needing to speak directly to each other, and they were never alone together.  
  
Tony noticed. "Did your little lesbian love affair fall apart? Deception at its roots and so forth." he teased her one night, sprawled out on the couch with his feet on the clearly bemused Banner's lap. He'd noticed Natalie Rushman's wide-eyed appreciation of her boss, then. Natasha gave him some points for being more observant than she'd initially thought, and then took them away again for being a tactless asshole. Most days Tony Stark broke about even; she didn't dare trust him. He was reckless, it was only inexperience that fooled him into thinking he could make up for that just by always being right. She was beginning to suspect that she might like him, though; she revoked and reinstated her initial poor opinion of him at least twice a week.  
  
Clint noticed too, because they noticed everything about each other, but he knew better than to bring it up. Unlike Tony, he had some understanding of the complex mixture of envy and admiration Natasha had for women like Pepper, who have become indomitable without first being broken down.  
  
So it was fine. The Avengers fought a ridiculous bird-themed super villain, four crimelords, and an army of giant robots. Natasha kept careful count of how many times each member of the team had saved her life. Clint had saved her the most, but she saved him right back. Tony Stark was a close second though, and she rarely got the chance to return the favor.  
  
  
She got her chance when high-tech aliens showed up in Chelsea.  
  
"Suit up!" Captain America shouted, and they fell into their respective roles, by now a well-oiled team. Iron Man gave Hawkeye a lift to the top of the tallest nearby apartment building, where he called information back to Cap and picked off strays. Captain America called the shots, while he and Natasha did ground-sweeps, getting civilians out of the way, battling aliens that survived to the ground as Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk destroyed their ships.  
  
"Man, you battle one alien army, you've battled 'em all." Tony complained through the comm. "Why can't someone throw something exciting at us for once?"  
  
The Hulk roared what Natasha was taking as an agreement, and threw a large chunk of one of the alien motherships down, smashing a section of the Chelsea Market.  
  
"Noo, not the brownies!!" Clint shrieked, which made no sense at all.  
  
"What are these 'brownies' for which you mourn, friend Hawkeye?" Thor asked, and Natasha could _hear_ the puzzled furrow in his brow.  
  
"My favorite bakery just got smashed. We must avenge the chocolatey treats, Thor!"  Clint shouted back, and the fight brought Natasha close enough to Steve that she could see the resigned annoyance on his face.  
  
"Guys, cut the chatter - there are civilians on the ground, this isn't a joke." he ordered sternly, but it was a joke, almost - the alien force was no match for them. It was like playing Galaga, but with more damage to city property.  
  
Except then, right in front of them, one of the alien ships broke apart. For a moment Natasha thought Tony must have hit it with some new death ray he added to his suit without telling them, because while she was starting to trust Tony to have her back, she didn't trust him to be a team player, and she'll never trust him to reveal information during the team briefing that could be more dramatically revealed at the center of a crisis.  
  
But the ship hadn't exploded; it had broken into about a dozen smaller, equally sized pieces, and they were zooming into a formation with Iron Man at the center, and she didn’t have to know what they were going to do to know it was going to be bad, to see that Hulk and Thor were too far away - she leapt forward, propelling herself into the air off the hood of a car, into an aerial flip off the momentum of another alien craft that came speeding by -  
  
The alien tech parts began emitting a blue light, in but a moment they'd connected into an ethereal web of electricity, and there was a beam shooting toward the center, toward Tony - his suit disintegrated in a flash, and he fell armorless into Natasha's arms.  
  
It was an impressive catch, but it wouldn't be different from any other brief moment of danger in the field if it weren't for the brave member of the paparazzi who managed to catch the whole thing on tape at a perfect angle, and suddenly it was the most widely watched piece of Avengers footage on the web.  
  
Overall, Natasha felt that the situation worked out to her personal advantage. She wasn't worried about having her face broadcast across the globe; one dye job and a different outfit, and she'd be unrecognizable for missions. Shady French businessmen weren't going to look at her undercover and say to themselves, "mon dieu, that nose certainly looks familiar."  
  
She was pleased that whatever their personal score might be, it looked to the public eye as though Stark owed her. It was an extra card in her hand, should he ever choose to betray her. Or if she ever needed to betray him - this team thing was working out well so far, but she wasn't ready to rule anything out.  
  
As an added bonus, Pepper saw the footage on the news and threw her a grateful smile when they arrived back at the tower. Apparently publicly rescuing her boyfriend was enough to cancel out a fake identity and a friendship with ulterior motives. Or maybe Pepper had simply taken the footage as evidence that it was to her benefit to be on good terms with Natasha. It was something she grudgingly admired about Pepper; it was impossible to tell what level she was playing at from moment to moment.  
  
**  
  
Things were friendlier between the two of them after that, but Natasha wasn’t really aware of how fond she had become of the other woman until, once again, she came into the kitchen one morning to see Pepper already there.  
  
This time Natasha was the one who was fully dressed and it was Pepper who was haphazardly clothed in a pair of cotton shorts that were almost invisible under one of Tony’s Metallica t-shirts. Her pale legs were stretched in front of her and crossed at the ankle as she balanced the majority of her weight against the sleek gray marble counter, a steaming mug of coffee the sole object of her concentration. It was a vulnerable pose, she’d never get straightened out in time if someone were to attack her. She was breathtakingly sexy.  
  
Natasha coughed quietly to let the other woman know she was there, and Pepper jumped, startled out of her coffee reverie, and turned to offer a smile. “There’s fresh coffee in the pot, if you’d like some.” she said by way of greeting.  
  
Natasha went cold. She was across the room in 3 strides, and she was proven right about the pose, Pepper didn’t have time to get to her feet before Nat was gripping her chin in one hand, turning her head to the side for a critical examination of the swollen red mark beneath the woman’s right eye. It was suspicious on its own, but the beginnings of a fingerprint bruise on Pepper’s neck were damning.  
  
“I’ll kill him.” she announced flatly. She was distantly aware of how icy her voice was, that her face had fallen into the expressionless mask that she knew she wore during assassinations. She meant it. She didn't have to stop and think about it to know that Tony favored agility over balance in a fight, that he swung just a little too wide, that a sweeping kick in close range would have him down and vulnerable, that his locks were too high-tech for her to pick, but the large glass windows he favored in his architecture would shatter easily.  
  
“W-what? Natasha, calm down. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Kill who?” Pepper was trying to sound firm, her eyes wide with confusion and fear. Nat lifted her other hand to the woman’s neck, gently tracing the bruises with her thumb, and Pepper’s breath caught in her throat.  
  
“Oh.” she murmured. She was blushing. “It’s, um - it’s not what you think.”  
  
For a moment Natasha did not comprehend. Something about her blank face compelled Pepper to continue, maintaining her composure although she sounded agonizingly embarrassed. “He didn’t do anything that I didn’t enjoy.”  
  
“Oh.” Natasha said, relieved. And then, “ _Oh_.”  
  
She was very much in Pepper’s personal space, practically holding her against the counter, the other woman’s chin still in her hand. She could imagine pulling her roughly forward and covering her lips with her own, could imagine Pepper letting her, submitting gracefully to Natasha’s control, letting herself be pinned, going soft and pliant beneath her -  
  
She dropped her hands abruptly, taking a sharp step back. She knew Pepper caught it, because Pepper was no fool. She cursed internally, shocked at how easily she made mistakes when it came to this woman.  
  
But Pepper wasn’t pressing the advantage. Instead, her eyes softened, she looked a little bit affectionate, a little bit grateful. “You’d have killed him for me, huh?” and Natasha abruptly realized that the woman was flattered.  
  
“In a heartbeat.” she croaked, knowing Pepper knew that she was deadly serious.  
  
Someone else might have been disturbed by the threat of bodily harm to their significant other, but Pepper just looked pleased. Then again, she was dating Tony Stark.  
  
“I’ll, um - I'll believe it if you say it now.” she murmured, and Natasha didn’t have to ask what she meant. The connection between this conversation and that one was obvious.  
  
“I wasn’t faking the way I felt about you.” She kept her eyes steady on Pepper’s face, letting her know that it was up to her to whether she wanted to interpret that as a declaration of friendship, or as something else entirely.  
  
Pepper smiled, and it was gentle, but in no way an invitation - friendship it was, then. The twist of disappointment was surprisingly strong, and with it came a healthy dose of embarrassment. Of course Pepper hadn’t responded to the subtext - her relationship with Tony was, as far as Natasha knew, entirely monogamous. How had she let herself forget that crucial detail?  
  
Bruce chose that moment to enter the kitchen. He saw them, paused because he was sensitive enough to see that he had interrupted something, and then visibly decided it was too late to back out now.  
  
Natasha could have kissed him, although apparently he wouldn't be her first choice in the room.  
  
“Good morning, Ms Potts, Agent Romanoff. I was thinking of making eggs, either of you interested?”  
  
Tasha started to say she was alright, but Pepper cut her off gracefully. “I’d love some if you’re cooking, thank you Bruce.” She arched an eyebrow at Natasha, and it was a clear challenge - ‘are you going to run away?’  
  
Well. If the game was still on, she wasn't going to be the one to back down. “Eggs sound good, thanks. I’ll make toast?” she offered.  
  
They sat down at the rarely-used breakfast table, and Bruce started waxing poetic about some disgusting biochemical experiment he and Tony had been doing in the lab. Pepper spooned marmalade onto her toast and then licked the spoon clean, pink tongue darting briefly into view. Natasha was rapt.  
  
This was possibly going to be a problem.


	2. Chapter 2

Stark was furious over the loss of his suit. He’d locked himself in his lab immediately after the battle, blasting ACDC loud enough that they could feel the vibrations even through the soundproof glass, although apparently he’d been coming out at night, Natasha supposed. The evidence was written on Pepper’s skin, after all.  
  
He finally emerged four hours after the most awkward breakfast of all time and called a team meeting in the conference hall on the 17th floor. Natasha was the last member of the team to enter, coming in just behind Tony; it was chaos. The conference table was covered - actually covered, she could not have said what color the table was underneath it - in boxes of sweets from various bakeries across New York. It was not a small table.  
  
“What is all this?” Tony demanded, looking vaguely affronted at the sugary tone his meeting had taken without his consent.  
  
“Thor wanted to try our Midgardian confectionary delights.” Clint announced gleefully, holding a plate with at least seven different desserts on it. “I took it upon myself to be Earth’s ambassador, and introduce him to a suitably wide selection.”  
  
“Friend Clint explained to me about brownies after our last battle.” Thor explained serenely, oblivious to the malevolent undercurrent to Clint’s happiness. “We have scoured the streets of New York in search of its finest baked goods!”  
  
“Did I pay for this crap?” Tony demanded.  
  
“You did.” Pepper confirmed, from where she was leaning casually against the doorway. “I gave them your credit card and free reign.”

  Tony looked betrayed. “You know, just because you have access to my finances as my assistant does not mean that you can lend them out to this group of charity cases without my permission.” he informed her sternly.  
  
“I did get your permission.” Pepper assured him, innocent look affixed firmly to her face. “I texted you yesterday about it.”  
  
Tony blinked at her and then pulled out his phone. “Tony, if you have any objection to Clint and Thor using your credit card for a dessert run, say so now. Your silence will be taken as consent.” he read aloud, and then flipped his phone back into his pocket in a decisive movement. “OK. I get it. I have failed in my boyfriendly communication duties, and you have wreaked sugary vengeance on my meeting.”  
  
“It’s nice how well we understand each other.” Pepper replied sweetly.  
  
Natasha shrugged and picked up an eclair. Clint opened his mouth, clearly about to let out some innuendo related to cream-filling. She neatly snapped off the tip of it with her teeth and raised an eyebrow at him; he shut it again with an audible snap.  
  
“Tony, what was it you wanted to meet about?” Steve asked, directing the room back on track, although he also had a large plate of sweets on his lap. Most of them were foreign and had a single bite out of them; Natasha supposed food options hadn’t been quite as globalized when he was growing up.  
  
“Yeah, OK, down to business!” Tony rubbed his hands together in preparation. “During our last battle, JARVIS was able to get some readings of the energy device the aliens used against me before he was cut off.” he scowled, apparently not over the offense.  
  
“I have been analyzing the readings down in my lab, and I’ve come to a couple of very interesting conclusions. First,” he tapped a finger against the table, “that device wasn’t just a weapon - in fact, I don’t think it was a weapon at all, really, it just happens to have some nasty side effects. What it is, is a very very detailed scanner. And it came into that fight with a very specific target - in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole point of the attack was to draw Iron Man out into firing range.” His clear outrage wasn’t enough to keep him from looking just a little bit smug.  
  
“So there’s a hostile force out there with a blueprint for your suit?” Steve summarized, looking concerned.  
  
“Well, no, not exactly - I mean yes, I suppose, but they didn’t actually get it for themselves - Jarvis detected that information being transmitted somewhere on Earth.”  

“They had a human ally.” Bruce breathed out.  
  
“Well, maybe, or possibly a human boss, or several humans, or possibly,” he waggled his hands out in the universal gesture for ‘woooo, creepy’, “aliens walk among us. I don’t know, and my equipment, unfortunately, was disintegrated before I could narrow down the exact  location to which it was sent. However, I know that it ended up somewhere in southern France, and I know that since they aren’t me, it’ll probably take them ohh, a month, absolute minimum, to build a functional power source, even with exact specs, the materials aren’t exactly easy to get ahold of, and that’s not even taking into account the time building the actual suit, learning how to use it, et cetera.”  
  
“Alright, that’s good. We have time to gather intel.” Steve agreed. “Natasha...”  
  
“We’ll take care of it.” she responded at once. As soon as Stark had said ‘southern France’ a list of names, locations, and organizations had been scrolling through her mind, crossing out the names of contacts that were no longer trustworthy, writing in details of past aliases that might come in handy... she knew, glancing at Clint, that something similar was happening in his own mind.  
  
It had been too long since she’d been able to put her expertise to real use.  
  
**  
  
Coulson was still out of commission, and somehow things weren't right between him and Clint anyways, and Natasha wasn’t sure who else at SHIELD to trust; the giant nuke heading for Manhattan was not something she was ready to forget. She and Clint had been left out of whatever infighting had to be going on; it had always been clear that their loyalties were to each other first, to Fury second, and that there was likely a whole continued list before SHIELD itself came into play, ranked somewhere near the bottom.  
  
So they were on their own for this mission, but that was OK. Stark funded their preparation, they fell into old aliases that hadn’t yet been burned. They went in separately; Natasha as Colette Cloutier, a high-society escort widely appreciated for her discretion, while Clint went in as Alex Hase, a German illegal arms dealer looking to expand his business internationally.  
  
Clint had good contacts in the area. He narrowed down their suspects quickly; within weeks he picked out their mark as one Josef Nadir, a retired Egyptian military scientist. Natasha made contact, and, with the help of a very low cut black dress, was invited into his private home. It was a matter of days to secure the information needed about his security systems. She and Clint met up in a hotel room to make plans; if everything went smoothly, they’d be in and out the next night, and would return to New York with intel.  
  
“This is going almost embarrassingly well.” Clint pointed out, lounging on the slightly grungy twin-sized bed.  
  
“Yeah, it is.” Tasha agreed, putting herself through some yoga stretches on the floor next to him. It occurred to her, suddenly, how completely absurd it was that she could crack the security of a multimillionaire evil genius without a hiccup, but Pepper Potts could consistently throw her off her game without even trying.  
  
The difference, of course, was that she knew what she wanted from the multimillionaire. How could she make a play against Pepper if she didn’t know what her goal was? The woman was - well, amazing, yeah. She was smart, and breathtakingly gorgeous, and a strange combination of ruthless and compassionate that mirrored Natasha at her best, without taking into account the Black Widow at her worst. So what did she want? A girlfriend? To play at being in love? That was ridiculous. She wanted... well, she wanted sex, but not more than she wanted to make the Avengers work, and stealing Tony Stark’s girlfriend would likely cause problems.  
  
She supposed what she wanted, for the time being, was a friend and a fantasy. She wanted to pretend she fit into their little fake family in the tower, wanted to exchange exasperated glances with Pepper whenever Tony was shameless, or charmed glances whenever Steve was too sincere for the 21st century, or concerned ‘oh god not the ceiling again’ glances when Bruce started to look stressed out.  
 She could have that, as long as she didn’t do anything stupid. She almost already did, really. She would let the attraction - those long pale legs wrapped around her waist, breasts shoved up against her own, Pepper pressed against the wall, begging her, desperate for her - slide away like fragments of a dream. This was good, this was better than she’d ever expected her life to be. She didn’t feel safe in the tower, didn’t trust the people there, not really - but still, it was a home of sorts.  
  
The mission went south, of course. They destroyed the man’s servers without a hitch, but before they could get back out a bodyguard from the previous shift forgot his wallet, came back for it and saw his replacement’s unconscious form. Tasha fought with all her usual grace as armed guards came streaming out of the woodwork, didn’t ever bother looking behind her, trusted Clint to have her back.  
  
This felt safe, far safer than the tower. Knowing she was the best in the room, knowing everyone here was either a partner she could trust or an enemy she could defeat, never having to question or keep score. This was the closest to an open book that her life would ever be. She laughed, reveling in the feeling, looked to Clint for him to share it with her - he was busy, making his way out the exit now that she’d cleared the way. His mouth was a tight line of concentration, his back tense. She’d gotten used to seeing him relaxed around the tower, taking pleasure in winding Stark up, in the casual luxury that he’d coveted as a homeless kid. How had she not noticed how unusual that was, the rare nature of his pleasure? He wasn’t faking it. He’d found a home in the tower. He was loyal to her, and she trusted him, she would always trust him, but - he trusted other people too. He didn’t just belong to her anymore, and she hadn’t even noticed.  
  
She made her way to their drop point next to him, and tried not to feel too bitterly alone.  
  
**  
  
They came back to the tower with Nadir’s server copied to a flash drive, and handed it over to Tony and Steve for analysis. Natasha read through it all first; Clint didn’t.  
  
Pepper was in the kitchen when Natasha entered, and she looked up and smiled a greeting.  “Hey, welcome back.”  
  
“Thanks. I’m making tea, you want some?” Natasha offered, getting out the pot. Pepper tilted a head consideringly at her.  
  
“That would be lovely, thank you.” she decided, sitting on a stool and watching casually as Natasha put the water on to heat and picked some fancy looking decaf mint thing out of the wide array of expensive teas Tony had only purchased after he noticed that she liked a microwaved cup of lipton in the morning instead of coffee.  
  
“So did the boys behave while we were gone?” Natasha asked dryly, remembering the goals she had set for herself. If this was the relationship she wanted with Pepper, she would create it for them. And sure enough, Pepper laughed, casual and happy to have someone else as audience to the bizarre comedy that was her life.  
  
“More or less. Tony decided to abandon smoothies in favor of introducing Steve and Thor to all the haute cuisine New York has to offer, and then Bruce mentioned in passing that he missed some of the food from his time on the run. We’ve had Indian takeout every night for the past 12 days.”  

  
“Oh god, I hate Indian food.” Natasha responded immediately and emphatically. Pepper quirked an eyebrow at her in question, and Natasha launched into a frankly absurd story of a mission in Mumbai where she’d spent two months posing as Clint’s personal chef that had Pepper practically falling out of her seat.  
  
“Did you actually learn how to cook the stuff?” she managed to inquire around her mirth.  
  
“I’m afraid that’s classified information.” Natasha responded solemnly, setting her off again.  
  
Pepper was beautiful when she laughed, shameless about it, head thrown back to expose the sharp lines of her pale throat.  
  
“I have to admit, I’m a little jealous.” she said when she’d sobered. “I mean, I realize that  you only tell the stories that are funny, but - it must be a safe feeling, knowing you’re controlling the room.”  Natasha blinked. “You must get a little of that yourself, in the boardroom.” she tried, a little disconcerted to hear Pepper saying what she’d just been thinking to herself the day before.  
  
“I do.” Pepper grinned. “I always get these sexist interviewers asking me if it’s intimidating to be a young woman in the cutthroat environment of big business. And really, how could I ever be frightened of an environment where I’m on top? I go into that room and I make a lot of old men practically piddle down their suit legs. Meanwhile, there have been four different kidnapping attempts while I’m relaxing at home.”  
  
“What.” The shock of white-hot anger was back in full force. Someone had dared to attack Pepper? After Natasha had decided to claim her as a friend?  
  
“Hey.” Pepper put a hand on her arm, concerned. “I’m alright. Happy’s team didn’t even let any of them get me out of the building. I knew it was a risk that came with my life choices, and I don’t regret them.”  
  
“Spar with me.” The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about it, and Pepper cut herself off, looking confused and a little apprehensive.  
  
“Um. Like, in the gym? With fighting?” she clarified.  
  
“In the gym. With fighting. I’ll teach you how.” Natasha confirmed. She hadn’t thought the offer through, and admittedly seeing Pepper sweating in tight clothing every morning wouldn’t help her work through the attraction. But it was the right thing to do nonetheless; she couldn’t believe Tony had never offered. She couldn’t believe Pepper had waited around for someone to offer, that she hadn’t gone out and signed up for a kickboxing class after the very first assault.  
  
“We aren’t the sort of people who sit back and allow ourselves to be helpless.” she told Pepper firmly. “We’re the best because we became the best.”  
  
She didn’t know how to explain the strength of fellow-feeling that was burning in her gut as she looked at the other woman, but she could see it shining back at her out of Pepper’s eyes, could see the acknowledgment from her that despite wildly different backgrounds, they were two of a kind.  
  
“Alright, that sounds good. Thanks. Tomorrow morning?” Pepper finally responded, looking a little uncertain.  
  
“Tomorrow morning.” Natasha agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what even is this, what am I doing with my life


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I had some exciting things happening in real life that had to take priority!

Pepper was annoyed with Tony. Which, when she thought about it she _knew_ it wasn’t fair, because he wasn’t doing anything any differently than he had before they started dating, so she probably should have been prepared.  
  
The difference, she was ashamed to admit to herself, was not that they were in a relationship now and he maybe owed her a little more of his attention than he had previously. The difference was that before, when he’d been locked up in his lab for 3 days, he was locked in his own little world, and then he would come back out and be hers again. But now he was down there with Bruce, laughing and smiling and trading witty science banter that she didn’t think she’d be able to follow even if she spent the next 10 years of her life getting advanced degrees in things. And then when he _did_ emerge, it was to poke fun at Captain America, and introduce him and Thor to every bizarre edible thing New York City had to offer. It felt like the only time she saw him anymore was when he slipped into bed next to her and ran an interested hand up her thigh.  
  
She didn’t know how to share him. It was embarrassing.  
  
It got worse when Clint and Natasha left on their mission. Where Natasha was as much Pepper’s friend as Tony’s, maybe even had a little bit of a crush on Pepper, and Clint seemed to take a malicious joy in tormenting them all equally, Bruce, Thor, and Steve were clearly _Tony’s friends_.  
  
It wasn’t like she was nothing without him. She was still the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, among other things. But she came home in the evenings, and they were laughing over jokes she wasn’t a part of, and it stung. She let it go on for weeks, and then acknowledged to herself that nothing was going to change unless she changed something.  
  
They finally had the conversation on the roof. The sunset was beautiful, and she was leaning against Tony’s chest, his arm curled around her waist while he balanced a glass of wine in his other hand. It was beautiful and romantic and so comfortable in its familiarity.  
  
“This isn’t working, is it?” she murmured, and he stiffened, took the oh-so-Tony tactic of playing ignorant.  
  
“What, the wine? Yeah, it’s a little - it’d probably go with like _fish_ or something, but on its own, no -”  
  
“ _Tony_.” she cut him off, and he stilled, the arm around her waist tightening convulsively.   
  
“Pepper, please-” he breathed.  
  
“Tony, it’s OK.” She leaned her head back against his shoulder, tilted her head to kiss his neck once, soothingly, where it met his chin. “It’s not - it’s not that anything between us has changed. We’re still us.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” he asked tightly, but Pepper was reasonably certain he already knew. Tony Stark really was as smart as he told everyone he was, after all.  
  
“You remember, back when - when all this started, you told me that I was all you had? I can’t believe,” she laughed a little, “that I thought that was romantic, that you were saying something sweet, when actually, it was - it was a problem that needed to be fixed.”  
  
 She set her wine glass down and turned around in his arms, resting her cheek against his chest for the comfort of it. “I still love you, Tony. But I’m not all you have anymore, and that’s good. You don’t need me to be your family and your assistant and your boss and your best friend and your lover and your teammate all rolled into one, you have other people to spread it out between, and our relationship needs to adjust, that’s all. This is good. All of it is good. We need to make room for it.”  
  
“So why does that mean we have to break up?” Tony asked her plaintively, and she could hear him trying not to go on the defensive, resisting the urge to compare her physique to Steve’s and create an elaborate points system to decide who should fulfill the role of ‘lover’. “Lots of people manage to have other friends and still keep a girlfriend, Pepper. Pretty much everyone else in the world besides us, I am fairly sure.”  
  
She laughed again, but gently. “It’s just not working out that way, Tony.” she repeated for him, because she knew he knew it, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it. “I can’t figure out how to share you unless I give some parts of you up for awhile. We’re not dating anymore, OK? You want to renegotiate in 6 months, I might be willing to consider.”  
  
“Six months, huh?” Tony repeated, sounding thoughtful. “OK, square deal. I can live with that. Getting some space. Very logical. I have to ask though,” he bit at her neck once, sharply, making her squeak, “what are your feelings on friends with benefits?”  
  
She laughed and pulled back far enough to look at his face, cupping her hand behind his ear to run her fingers through his hair. He was looking at her with that stoic expression he got when he was containing his smirk because he knew it would just get him in more trouble. And, god, she knew his every facial expression, he had been everything she had for over a decade.  
  
But she’d been telling the truth. They hadn’t become smaller to each other; things had just expanded around them. She wasn’t losing anything, she reminded herself fiercely, because she could feel tears pricking at the corner of her eyes and she didn’t want them.  
  
“I’m open to any suggestions you might have on the topic.” she informed him coyly, and let him pull her against him into a kiss.  
  
They had amazing we-just-broke-up sex on the roof, which was a rare opportunity, since the roof was Bizarre Spy Games territory whenever Clint and Natasha were home, and therefore not usually a place for any sort of privacy.  
  
Pepper’s back ached the next morning from being pressed against the concrete. She worried that it wouldn’t stick, that their breakup would just be words and things would continue exactly the way they had, but they didn’t. She came down to the lab with paperwork for him to sign and saw him throwing blueberries at the back of Bruce’s head, and didn’t feel the tight clench of no, that’s mine, you can’t have it that had filled her chest before. Tony announced that he would sign one paper for every blueberry she was able to catch in her mouth, and she went back upstairs an hour later almost weak with the relief of it. This was better, this was a way for everything to be alright. She had made the right call and she could rest easy.  
  
Still. It was hard to miss the fact that while Tony’s life had been suddenly expanded by a ragtag band of superheroes, hers was as empty as it had ever been. She went to work, stayed there for a minimum of 12 hours a day, and then came home to where she lived in a giant work-related tower that had practically become her ex-boyfriend’s frat house. It was depressing.  
  
She was in the kitchen a week later, sternly telling herself that she was allowed 12 more hours to mope and then she had to get over it, when Clint and Natasha returned from their mission.  
  
Natasha walked into the kitchen and Pepper’s mood 180’d fast enough to leave her dizzy. “Hey, welcome back!” she offered, and tried to conceal just how pleased she was to see her.   
  
The offer for sparring lessons seemed out of nowhere, until Natasha explained it to her.   
  
“We aren’t the sort of people who sit back and allow ourselves to be helpless.” she said, and Pepper couldn’t explain the way that it swelled up within her, the idea that Natasha looked at her and saw a fellow spirit. It fell into place inside of her, felt like understanding on a level that she hadn’t even remembered she could experience with people who weren’t Tony.  
  
She and Tony understood each other because they had spent a decade learning each other, inside and out. She didn’t know the first thing about Natasha, but they had understood each other from the beginning. These were things they could understand about each other because they were the same.  
  
She accepted the offer.  
  
**  
  
Pepper went to the gym every day, but she wasn’t sure she had the type of muscle for fighting. She ran on a treadmill, ipod blasting in her ears, because it was a great way to stay in shape but also because her body was a tool, and it was a fact of her life that the business world did not respect women who were overweight or unattractive. She’d gotten a nose job when she was 20, and she ran two miles every morning, and she knew that the people she interacted with responded to it.  
  
Natasha was different. She wasn’t for show. Every millimeter of her body seemed to have power coiled within it, whispering through her skin. Pepper showed up that first morning wearing yoga pants and a turquoise swirled spandex tanktop, and was struck dumb by the comparison between her own lanky form and the compact strength of Natasha’s.   
  
The other woman didn’t comment, though - not that Pepper would have expected her to. “We’re going to start with the basics.” she announced instead.  
  
The sparring lessons were strictly professional - Natasha treated it as though they were doing something entirely necessary to save Pepper’s life, and Pepper took her cue from the other woman and acted the same, throwing herself into the lessons with a grim determination. She was terrible at first, but to her surprise, things seemed to pay off relatively quickly. Not more than two weeks later, she went into the dressing room after a lesson to shower and change, looked in the mirror, and was surprised by the muscle tone she had gained in her arms and stomach. It was sexy, she thought, turning sideways to examine herself more thoroughly. She gave her arm an experimental flex and grinned, bemused, at the line of muscle that tightened in response.  
  
“Pleased with yourself?” She jumped as the droll voice rang out to her left, and turned to see Natasha leaning against a locker. She was the very picture of mockery, one eyebrow raised and her lips pulled into a smirk, which was probably the appropriate reaction to witnessing your friend checking themself out in a gym mirror. But there was something heated in Natasha’s eyes, something intense and approving about the way that her gaze flickered over new muscle.  
  
“I don’t need to be at the office until 9:30 today. Can I buy you breakfast?” Pepper offered spontaneously, because she was feeling sexy and she was suddenly very aware that she liked the way Natasha was looking at her.   
  
“Can’t - early meeting at SHIELD.” Natasha replied with a grimace, and then tilted her head consideringly. “Lunch?” she offered.  
  
“It’s a plan!” Pepper agreed, before she had even finished mentally reorganizing her schedule so that she would have time.  
  
“I’ll come fish you out of your office around 1:00.” Natasha informed her, and they parted ways.  
  
Somewhere around noon, Pepper’s contract renewal negotiation with a large client in the private sector became heated, and she completely lost track of time writing up a reply for the company lawyers to look over until her secretary paged her.  
  
“Ms. Potts? Ms. Rushman is here to see you.” the woman called, sounding puzzled.  
  
“Oh! Thanks Adelle, tell her I’ll be right out!” Pepper replied, realizing that of course her secretary would recognize the woman who had briefly been 2nd in command.  
  
She finished her sentence and then abandoned the reply for later, grabbing her jacket and purse, making her way into her waiting room where Adelle was making confused small talk with Natasha, who was dressed more casually than Natalie Rushman ever had but did not actually have a giant sign flashing over her head declaring her a superspy.  
  
“Ms Potts!” Natasha greeted her, smiling warmly and looking just a little shy. Her eyes were dancing with mischief.  
  
“Natalie, how wonderful to see you again!” Pepper replied, trying not to laugh. She’d been annoyed and more than a little embarrassed at how easily Natasha had played her when she first became CEO. Being in on the secret this time around was soothing an ache she hadn’t known she was still feeling.  
  
“Oh, you too, thank you so much for making time to get lunch with me!” Natasha gushed, and Pepper took her by the elbow and firmly guided her out of the room before she could burst into laughter at the incongruity of Natasha and that tone of voice.  
  
“Was that really necessary?” she asked when they were safely outside the building, raising one eyebrow.  
  
“Never burn a cover when you don’t have to.” Natasha replied unrepentantly. “What do you want for lunch?”  
  
They ended up at a sushi place down the block, splitting a seaweed salad and several rolls. Pepper tried to start the conversation out by asking about Coulson, but Natasha shut her down immediately, glancing around the restaurant in search of eavesdroppers.   
  
“Seen any good movies lately?” she tried instead, taking the hint, and Natasha smiled approvingly at her.  
  
She made a point of leaning in, of brushing her hand against Natasha’s as they reached for things, but Natasha moved away, seemingly oblivious to the undercurrents as she chatted cheerfully about her guilty enjoyment of old science fiction.  
  
She wasn’t oblivious, of course. Trained super spies probably picked up on it when people were flirting with them. Pepper chalked it up to a lack of interest; Natalie Rushman might have had a crush on her boss, but Natasha Romanov was obviously only interested in friendship.   
  
Given the level of paranoia Natasha had shown in the past, it was a real compliment that she was turning down Pepper’s advances, instead of leaving things open-ended in case it gave her an advantage down the line. Pepper decided to take it that way, shoving down her disappointment.   
  
Over the next month, the Avengers fought a magician and a mutant lizard, and more normally, foiled an attack by religious extremists. Pepper negotiated four important contracts, personally oversaw the press release for a battery that was powered by a biological agent, courtesy of The Tony & Bruce Show, successfully threw Natasha during one of their sparring sessions, and had sex with her ex-boyfriend three times. And somewhere along the way, lunch with Natasha became a daily ritual; they would go out, or when Pepper was too busy, Natasha would slip into her office with takeout, would perch on the corner of Pepper’s fancy desk, skirt riding up her thigh, and throw her head back and laugh as Pepper ranted about sexist old businessmen.   
  
It was good. It was very good, even, it was a kind of balance that Pepper had never had before in her life. She had a powerful successful job, she had friends who were superheroes, and she fit into it all, felt comfortable and accepted among humanity’s elite. A million people had fantasies about living her life. And if Pepper’s eyes lingered, occasionally, on the places where the line of Natasha’s clothing made teasing promises, that was nothing worth upsetting the balance for.  
  
Naturally, it wasn’t long before something came along to upset it for her.


	4. Chapter 4

Of the entire team, Bruce was the Avenger that Natasha spent the least time around. Every time she saw him, it ran through her head as his identifier: _I put a bullet in my mouth._ She didn't mean to, knew it wasn't entirely fair, but she defined him by it. _This is Tony Stark, wealthy man-child. This is Bruce Banner, who put a bullet in his mouth._  
  
She wasn't unsympathetic, exactly, but - it was an alien concept to her. Natasha had been destroyed and recreated from scratch a thousand times, had had less control over herself than Banner could ever imagine. He couldn't control his transformations, so he tried to kill himself. She thought, would I want to do that, did they have to program the impulse out of me?  
  
She thought he had no idea what it meant not to be in control of your own mind. To be unmade. She was stripped of all illusions; she knew that they could get into your head and change you, and she knew that the very idea of self-control was a cosmic joke. She didn't have the luxury in believing in identity, knew that the very idea of personhood was a lie. Despite her best intentions, when Bruce did his, aw shucks, the other guy, self-effacing head-duck routine, a little coil of scorn curled up from her belly, made her carefully smooth her face into a neutral expression so no one would see her sneer.  
  
Still, she thought he was a good guy.  
  
That was why it was a surprise when she headed into Tony's lab one afternoon after lunch in Pepper's office, intent on requesting an upgrade to her widow's bite, only to see Bruce clenching his hands uselessly at the surface of a workbench, Tony between his thighs. Under different circumstances, it could be a beautiful scene. Tony Stark was an attractive man; he looked good, bent into a position of obscene worship, kneeling at Bruce's feet. Bruce's pants were still on, just unzipped; what little had been exposed was blocked from her sight by Tony's head. Any sound was muted by the glass walls leading into Tony's sacred space, leaving them moving silently against each other in a portrait of profane intimacy.  
  
She expected this sort of thing from Tony - he was famous for his philandering ways, after all - but she'd thought better of Bruce. She thought she had expected it from Tony, anyways. She was surprised by her own surprise, by her lack of a contingency plan for this. She didn't say anything, just spun silently away, back up the stairs. They didn't know she'd ever been there.  
  
She wanted to tell Pepper. That was wrong; Tony and Bruce were her teammates, it made no sense to betray them over something that had no effect on her life whatsoever. And Pepper would be angry when she found out about it, would possibly take some of that anger out on the messenger; it was of no tactical advantage to tell her. Friendship was fine, to an extent, but it was getting out of control if she wanted to do something so completely foolish.  
  
But she did want to. 'Right… what are my goals here?' she reminded herself, a process that was becoming habitual when it came to Pepper Potts. It was important that The Avengers continue to function as a team. They were accomplishing a great deal, and moreover, their continued public success was Fury's main card against SHIELD's directorate. She didn't have to be directly involved to know that in the wake of his direct defiance during the Battle of Manhattan, he was hanging onto his position by a thread. Call her sentimental, but Natasha didn't especially want SHIELD run by anyone who thought directing a nuke at civilians made a good Plan A. And she _liked_ working with a team. She was beginning to trust them in the field. It was… nice.  
  
Therefore her primary goal for the time being was to keep The Avengers functioning, and to keep herself an integral and well-liked part of them. Her goals would not be served by interfering in Stark's personal life. Her secondary goals, in regards to her relationship with Pepper, would be unaffected by her continued silence. No one knew that she had seen Stark and Banner together; therefore Pepper couldn't be angry at her for not sharing the information.  
  
But she liked Pepper, and Stark's betrayal did not sit well with her. Loyalty that outlived its usefulness was new in her life, and she wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. She would enact some small revenge on Stark when the opportunity came up, she assured herself.  
  
She put it out of her mind for the time being. She had an afternoon meeting with Coulson, and it wouldn't do to be distracted. He would notice if she was compromised in any way; that was his job, after all - or it had been, and hopefully would be again.  
  
Clint had been invited to attend the meeting as well; he had pointedly ignored the email, as he had ignored 6 previous ones. Natasha had thought about knocking some sense into him, but - that wasn't their relationship. She understood the kind of guilt and anger he was harboring; he would work through it in his own time.  
  
She met Coulson at a crappy diner on 8th st, where he was already seated in a red cushioned booth, pie and coffee in front of him, frowning tiredly at something on his PDA. She slipped in silently, came up behind him and sat down without a sound.  
  
"So what's this meeting about?" she asked, and he looked up and smiled pleasantly, apparently not startled in the least.  
  
"Natasha, good to see you. I hear you've been spending a lot of time with Pepper Potts lately." he said blandly, and years of training meant that Natasha was able to keep her composure.  
  
"Yes." she acknowledged simply, instead of blurting out, 'I know I've been compromised, I won't let it affect my performance' or  'she looks amazingly sexy in her workout clothes.'  
  
Looking at the stiff way Coulson still held himself, months after his injury, at the gray tinge of exhaustion that had become a constant in his face, it dawned on her that he might have a reason for meeting to discuss Pepper that was entirely unrelated to Natasha's little… infatuation. "You're considering her as a replacement for yourself." she stated, taking a gamble, and it paid off when Coulson grimaced, just a little, and nodded confirmation.  
  
"She's familiar with your team dynamics. She's got the experience to handle the PR, the finances, the legal nightmare that is vigilantism. And I'm not - " he hesitated, looking uncomfortable, "I'm not ever going to be healthy enough to go into the field. I'd be a liability as a handler."  
  
"She has no experience with military strategy whatsoever." Natasha pointed out, knowing he would have already thought of that and would have an answer. She wasn't going to touch the rest of it. She and Coulson had an unspoken understanding; part of it was the agreement that there would be no emotional discussions ever, not even when one of them came back from the dead, not even when Stark tried to start one just because he had a bet on with Thor about which of them would be more uncomfortable.  
  
"You've been teaching her to spar." Coulson replied mildly. "She's a fast learner. I can teach her what she needs to know about longterm military strategy, but it won't even need to be much; the Avengers are still a response team, not a military unit. She doesn't have to have the tactical knowledge to direct you in the field; you've got Rogers for that."  
  
It was an appealing thought, Natasha had to admit, hearing Pepper's voice over the comm in battle. It just sat right with her; Pepper was part of the team, was on the incredibly short list of people Natasha liked, and somehow on the even shorter list of people she trusted.  
  
But the fact that Coulson was suggesting it was - problematic.  
  
"You want to move the Avengers away from SHIELD's control." she stated. There was no other reason that Coulson would be suggesting Pepper instead of someone more trained - Sitwell would have been the most obvious choice. Natasha didn't like what that said about Fury's status within SHIELD; Coulson's trust in him was unshakeable, he wouldn't be trying to increase their autonomy if he thought Fury would remain in charge.  
  
"Things are… unstable." Coulson admitted. "It might not be a terrible idea to have you somewhat removed from the situation. You've got Stark to fund you, which pushes this into the realm of possibility. I'm looking for your opinion; do you think Ms. Potts would be capable of taking on the role?"  
  
"I think she'd be capable - I'm more worried about amenable." Natasha admitted. "She's a busy woman, and I suspect that her relationship with Stark is about to implode, I don't know how she's going to react to that." She hesitated. "…. I can find out, though. Let me feel her out and get back to you."  
  
Coulson nodded. "Alright. Gather intel and we'll talk about this again." He paused as well, clearly wanting to say something else. She waited patiently, keeping a level gaze on him that was good for making people blurt things out. "Feel Barton out for me as well, if you don't mind. He won't answer my calls." Coulson's voice went a little pathetic at the end, and she had the bizarre urge to pat him on the head.  
  
"He'll come around." she said instead, and left.  
  
She'd wanted an excuse to talk to Pepper about her relationship with Tony, and now she had one. It made her uncomfortable. She'd manipulated Coulson to get the result she wanted; that was what happened when you let personal feelings compromise professional goals; you started doing things for the wrong reasons, and then you made mistakes.  
  
She worried it over in her head throughout the afternoon and evening, as she worked out with Steve, watched Bruce make dinner. (It was nothing personal, even in light of that morning's incident - she just preferred to see where her food came from.)  
  
If Coulson was worried, she was worried too; the man knew how to keep his cool. Pepper was a good choice to fill his shoes, but her main connection to the team was Tony; she might well be unwilling to work with him if their relationship exploded in the spectacular fashion that Stark's personal life usually managed. But Natasha knew Pepper, or thought she did; when had the woman ever shirked her duty for personal reasons? If they wanted Pepper on board, their best strategy might be to secure her interest in the position before she found out about Stark and Banner. She wouldn't back out once she got involved. Natasha knew that, even if Coulson didn't.  
  
But that was unfair to Pepper. And Natasha cared about what was fair to Pepper. It was a case of divided loyalty, a situation that Natasha had frequently managed to avoid by failing to have any inflexible loyalties. She had a ledger; her loyalty was a mathematical function, nothing more.  
  
When had that changed?  
  
When 9:00 rolled around, about the time that Pepper usually got back to the tower, Natasha had more or less hammered out what she wanted to say.  
  
Unfortunately, Pepper didn't show up. She sometimes stayed late at the office, when her inbox called for it, but Natasha wished she could have picked another night.  
  
At 9:15, Tony came bursting into the living room, ashen, phone still clutched in his hands. "It's Pepper." he announced, his shaking voice belying the hard rage in his eyes. "Someone's taken her."  
  
At 9:20, the team was clustered around a table watching the security footage from outside SI's headquarters. Natasha kept her expression dangerously blank as two men came up behind Pepper, drugging her and pulling her into a van.  
  
"This is from about half an hour ago." Steve informed them, his voice grim. "We've got the license plate, Jarvis is tracking it down through traffic camera recordings across the city. Wherever they ended up, we won't be far behind them."  
  
"It doesn't look like a professional job." Clint offered. "Real guys would've noticed the cameras, would've grabbed her out of view or at least disabled them long enough to avoid letting us get their plates."  
  
"We can't take that for granted." Steve returned. "Ms. Potts' security is very good; several previous attempts to assault her have been stopped before they even got her out of the building. They may have decided it was a worthwhile risk to grab her in plain view, rather than try to get past guards."  
  
"Hang on… Jarvis, can you replay the tape?" Natasha spoke up, something niggling at the back of her mind. The AI obliged, bringing it back to the beginning and playing it forward again, the man leaping out of the building's shadow with a syringe - "Stop! Right there, pause. Clint, we've seen that guy before."  
  
Clint leaned forward, examining the picture, and then whistled abruptly. "Sonofabitch, it's the guard from our France mission, who worked for what's-his-name…"  
  
"Nadir. Josef Nadir." Natasha supplied. "We took down his operation, but we couldn't actually arrest the guy - we obtained all our evidence against him illegally."  
  
"Jarvis, can you tie any local business dealings back to one Josef Nadir?" Tony demanded.  
  
"Allow me a moment to sort through the data, sir." Jarvis replied.  
  
"Great - while we're waiting, Natasha, why the hell are you glaring at me?" Tony continued without pause, turning to return her expression with interest. She hadn't even realized she was doing it.  
  
"I just don't think you get to cheat on Pepper and then act the part of the concerned lover 6 hours later." she returned sharply, barely reined in panic making her more honest than was necessarily wise. Well, she'd been planning to bring it all out with Pepper anyways, might as well go through with it. It might not even matter, if they weren't on time, if Pepper was - she couldn't complete the thought. Tony's face went slack with surprise for an instant, and then his eyes narrowed at her. Beside him, Bruce looked like the only person in the world who knew how to be zen about complete and utter humiliation.  
  
"Actually, Pepper dumped me weeks ago, thanks for the assumption, thought you were supposed to know everything that went on around here." he replied. "But, hey, weirdly enough, my affection for the woman who has been my best friend for almost two decades did not come stuttering to a halt as soon as she cut off my access to her nether regions, and frankly -"  
  
 "Sir, if I may interrupt," Jarvis' smooth tone cut in, "it appears that there is a research facility in Brooklyn which recently hired Dr. Nadir as a consultant. They have a warehouse on 44th street that lines up with a likely route for the licensed van in which Ms Potts was apprehended."  
  
"That's it then. Everybody suit up." Steve ordered.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Iron Man shot down the doors to the rickety facility, surprising the armed guards behind it. Natasha let Steve and Tony occupy the majority of their attention as she slipped silently by, easily taking down the one idiot who tried to get in her way.  
  
She made her way down the hallway, keeping a sharp eye out, until she spotted the anomaly - a closed door with light coming out from under it, and she kicked it down with a kind of outspoken viciousness that she usually reserved for the end of especially unsavory undercover missions.  
  
Pepper was upright, in a fighting stance that Natasha had taught her first thing. Natasha's gaze swept over her, taking everything in. Pepper's knuckles were bruised and bloodied, maybe dislocated in one or two places, leaving no doubt as to what had happened to the two unconscious men bleeding on the floor. Her hair and clothing were a mess, and there was a puffiness on the left side of her face that was going to become a black eye.  
  
She was panting, but the look in her eyes was as hard and calculating as Natasha's in the field. She had turned toward the door as Natasha burst in, fists up, ready to continue defending herself. Natasha could spot the exact moment, the click, as Pepper recognized her, realized that she was safe, and then she crumpled, and that was so in character for Pepper, the strongest person in the room until the first moment it was safe for her to be weak again, and Natasha was there to catch her, pulling her forward and catching Pepper's lips with her own in a desperate kiss.  
  
Pepper was still for just a moment, and then her lips opened under Natasha's, equally desperate, soft and thin and perfect. Pepper's body was pressed up against hers, and the world faded away for a moment in a haze of dizzy relief and gratitude, and all Natasha could do was cling, but that was alright because Pepper was clinging too and Natasha could pretend to herself that she was the comforter, not the comforted.  
  
The kiss broke as Pepper's breath hitched into a sob, and one of Natasha's hands moved up to cup the back of Pepper's head as she kissed the woman's tears away, unable to stop herself, tasting salt under her lips.  
  
"You're OK, you did great, you're amazing." she assured her raggedly, and Pepper laughed, a watery hiccuping sound, and buried her face into Natasha's neck, head resting on her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around Natasha like a limpet, and suddenly Natasha was holding up the majority of her weight.  
  
"My hands hurt." Pepper announced plaintively, and laughed again, just a little hysterical. Natasha laughed too, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  
  
"That's what happens when you punch people in the face without padding." she informed her, and Pepper smiled and leaned up for another kiss -  
  
"Pepper!" Tony picked that moment to burst into the room, frantic, and then came to a screeching halt. "Well." he managed to get out after a beat. "I can see that you're OK, then." because there was no mistaking the position he'd caught them in. Pepper just smiled and shook her head, and leaned back into Natasha, seemingly with no intention to let go any time soon, which suited Natasha just fine.  
  
They were airlifted back to SHIELD headquarters. Pepper fell asleep about five minutes into the trip, her head cushioned on Natasha's chest, her hands newly bandaged. Natasha wrapped a supportive arm around her, keeping her in place, and raised an eyebrow at her dumbstruck teammates, daring them to say anything. Because none of them had become superheroes by knowing when to quit, her threat went largely unheeded. Clint's smirk was so pronounced it was probably painful, and when Thor beamed at her and announced, "I am glad to see that love has bloomed in your heart, fair Widow!"  he finally lost it, practically falling out of his chair with laughter. Steve looked confused.  
  
"So where are you taking Coulson for dinner tonight, Clint?" she asked in retribution, taking a slight gamble, because she couldn't get in range to murder him without waking Pepper up. The entire team's attention was successfully diverted, Coulson managed to look impassive and slightly embarrassed at the same time, and Clint scowled.  
  
"How could you possibly know about that, that happened like 5 minutes ago." he grumbled, and Natasha decided to be kind and not explain that she'd been able to guess because nothing less than their reconciliation could have eased the tension that had taken over both their frames every time they'd been forced into the same room for the past few months.  
  
"I have my ways." she said instead, and let her lips curve into a mysterious smile.  
  
"You're fucking scary. No wonder you and Pep get along so well, she knows everything too." Tony told her. Pepper murmured sleepy agreement into her chest, and Natasha glared at them all for waking her up, and tried to ignore the way her pulse skittered at the feel of Pepper's breath ghosting across her breast.  
  
Sitwell debriefed them back at SHIELD. Natasha and Tony sat in on Pepper's - Natasha because, as the first one on the scene, she might have had something to add to the civilian account, and Tony because they failed to lock him out in time. Once she was in front of people from outside her personal circle, Pepper regained her composure, firmly detaching herself from Natasha's side and keeping her voice steady as she described her capture.  
  
"I came out of the building a few minutes ahead of Happy; they grabbed me in front of the building while I was waiting for him to pull around with the car. I, uh - didn't really get a chance to fight," she offered Natasha an apologetic glance, "I didn't even see them. Just felt someone stab me in the neck with something and I woke up… a few hours later, I guess, cuffed to a chair. Nat - Agent Romanov taught me how to get out of cuffs. There didn't even seem to be any surveillance. I just - waited, and when some guys came and unlocked the door, I knocked them out." she smiled fiercely, and Natasha felt something that was a little like pride and a little like something more intense blooming in her chest. "They must have been coming to move me in response to your rescue team, because about two seconds later Agent Romanov came bursting in."  
  
"Alright." Sitwell said when she came to a close. "We may have some follow up questions for you, Ms Potts, but it doesn't seem like there's much to say here. Well done, I'm very impressed by the way you handled the situation."  
  
"Yeah, this can't happen again." Tony announced firmly. His hands were skittering against his lap, his face tight with fury in response to Pepper's casual account. Natasha was not unsympathetic.  
  
"Well then, Mr. Stark, I imagine that the next time SHIELD asks you to keep your identity a secret from the press, you will understand the logic." Sitwell shut him down so firmly that it looked like he was channeling Coulson, punctuating it with the snap of his briefcase as he stood up. "In the meantime, perhaps you could increase Ms. Potts' personal security; I believe you have a budget for that sort of thing."  
  
"Oh, I guarantee you, that's being taken care of." Tony agreed grimly.  
  
"Tony…" Pepper started, apparently guessing (correctly, Natasha had overheard the phone call) that she wasn't going to like whatever he meant.  
  
"We're done here, yes? I have work to do." He stormed out after Sitwell and Pepper let him go, looking just a little bit anxious.  
  
"He doesn't like being worried." Natasha offered, although she knew that Pepper already knew that. Pepper just laughed.  
  
"He doesn't like feeling guilty." she corrected. "And he shouldn't. I will remind him that I am a grown woman who makes her own choices after he's had a few hours to sulk."  
  
"Also," Natasha observed, "you are a grown woman who can knock out kidnappers with the best of them." She let a little of the pride she was feeling tinge her voice, and saw Pepper brighten in response.  
  
"Well, I had a good teacher." she replied coyly, and hooked her arm around Natasha's in a flirtatious gesture that might've gotten someone else's wrist broken. "Let's go home, shall we?"  
  
Coulson tried to stop them on the way out the door. "Ms Potts, if you have a moment, there's something I'd like to speak to you about -" he started, and Natasha cut him off.  
  
"It'll wait until tomorrow." she told him firmly, and tightened her arm around Pepper's, who, predictably, blushed.  
  
"I'll call you tomorrow afternoon, Phil." she said over her shoulder as they continued forward. Natasha wanted to be a fly on the wall for that conversation - or possibly a spy in the air ducts. Jarvis probably wouldn't rat her out.  
  
Happy was waiting for them by the car. His gaze started at the way that their arms were linked and made its way up to the glare Natasha was leveling at him. He prudently put up the privacy barrier.  
  
They didn't waste any time feeling awkward; neither of them were the type to beat around the bush.  
  
"So." Natasha started, keeping her tone neutral. Pepper flushed, and Natasha tried not to find it adorable how consistent the duality was, sweet innocent little Pepper who blushed at people who kissed her and took down assailants and businessmen with cool competence.  
  
"So." Pepper agreed, looking almost shy. "You kissed me."  
  
"You didn't seem to object." Natasha pointed out, quirking an eyebrow and smirking a little, just to see if the blush would deepen. It did.  
  
"No, I - " Pepper laughed, and apparently crossed the line into shamelessness, "I've been flirting with you for a month, you have to have noticed."  
  
"I did." Natasha admitted. "I wasn't sure - I didn't want to step on Stark's toes, working together is… important."  
  
"Mm." Pepper agreed. "What changed your mind?"  
  
"I - I was worried."  Natasha admitted, and hated how lost her voice sounded. "I - you didn't come home, and I thought, I was distracted when I was training you, I kept noticing how sexy you looked, what if I didn't do a professional job, and it made the difference -"  
  
"Nat…" Pepper curled her hand around Natasha's knee, a comforting warmth, and Natasha allowed it, although there was no pretending that it was for anyone's sake but her own.  
  
"I don't have things like this." Natasha explained. "The Venn diagram of people who can know anything about me and people I can trust not to have an agenda is two separate circles. Was two separate circles. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with someone like you."  
  
"It's pretty simple, actually." Pepper replied gently, and she pulled her hand away from Natasha's knee to run it down her forearm, capturing her wrist between slim fingers and twining their fingers together gently. "It just means the only guideline is, what do you want to do with me?"  
  
Natasha remembered asking herself that ages ago in a crappy motel in France, remembered Pepper startled by her own sexiness in front of the gym mirror, Pepper's gaze lingering too long at Natasha's neckline, Pepper laughing so hard she almost fell out of her desk chair at Natasha's impression of an especially pernicious board member, Pepper not coming home when she was supposed to.  
  
Parts of the answer were complicated and beyond her grasp, but part of it was remarkably simple.  
  
She looked down at where Pepper was clasping her hand with her own, and used it to pull the other woman into her personal space; Pepper went willingly, leaning forward at the same time Natasha did until their noses were almost touching, their lips not more than an inch apart.  
  
"I just want you." she breathed, and closed the distance.  
  
Pepper moved into the kiss eagerly, opening her lips against Natasha's in a heated gasp. Natasha had meant it as a gesture, had meant to pull back after a moment and gauge Pepper's reaction. Confronted with the reality of Pepper's hot mouth moving against hers, that plan flew out the window. It was a little awkward in the confines of the backseat, luxurious though the car was, but they shifted, until Pepper was lying on her back with Natasha over her, and that was much better, it meant that Natasha could reach to nip at the long pale neck she'd been admiring from afar, which made Pepper gasp and throw her head back, fingers digging into Natasha's neck and hair where her hands had landed.  
  
They were interrupted some unknown amount of time later by a discreet knock on the door.  
  
"Fuck." Pepper groaned, and shoved Natasha to the side, making some vague effort at straightening her hair.  
  
"Just give up - he's going to know what we were doing anyways, you've got my lipstick on your neck." Natasha advised unrepentantly, and followed Pepper out of the car, past Happy, who was an interesting sort of plum shade, and into the elevator.  
  
"Come with me to my room?" Natasha asked. Pepper had seemed fairly… enthused in the car, but it was probably best not to assume. Judging by Pepper's answering smile, though, she was free to assume away.  
  
"Why, Ms. Romanov - do I need to be further debriefed?" Pepper asked, her innocent look somewhat marred by the pornographic lipstick marks just under her jawline, not to mention the quiet bruises forming around her eye.  
  
"Actually," Natasha answered silkily, "I was thinking we could continue our sparring lessons." She pressed Pepper against the elevator wall with her body, caught her wrists and held them gently above her head, mindful of Pepper's injuries. "Think you can break my hold?" she murmured against warm lips, felt them curve into a smile under her own as Pepper twisted her hips interestingly against Natasha's.  
  
How they made it into Natasha's bedroom was a mystery; she wasn't even sure she'd actually managed to press the button in the elevator, Jarvis might have had to help them out.  
  
Once there, Natasha managed to break away from the latest heated kiss long enough to push Pepper back onto the bed and then follow her onto it, straddling her. She kissed her way down Pepper's creamy throat until fabric got in her way and then started in on the buttons. Clothing was  removed remarkably fast from that point, until Natasha was able to cup one of Pepper's breasts in her hand and seize an erect nipple between her teeth, making Pepper arch sharply beneath her as she nipped at it.  
  
She was beautiful spread out against Natasha's sheets, creamy skin dotted with light freckles, and Natasha kissed her way down it, tasting every inch, until she was able to lick at Pepper's folds, spreading her open with her thumbs so that she could push against her with her tongue at just the right angle, and in no time at all Pepper's sweet, breathy little noises were hitching in her throat, her hips jerking erratically so that Natasha had to hold her still to finish.  
  
Afterwards Pepper smiled at her, a sleek, satisfied expression that stroked Natasha's ego, and pulled her upwards for a messy kiss.  
  
"My turn." Pepper informed her, and made as though she wanted to roll over, but Natasha pulled her to a halt.  
  
"It can wait until your hands are healed." she assured Pepper, cupping her cheek in her palm and running gentle, soothing fingers over the forming bruise under her eye. Pepper's smile was all warmth as she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, apparently relishing the affection.  
  
"So there's definitely going to be another time?" she asked, and Natasha could hear the plea for reassurance in her voice.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm definitely keeping you around." Natasha assured her, and then smirked, because Pepper didn't know yet how true that was. "When are you planning to call Coulson tomorrow?" she asked casually, and Pepper gave a mock groan, pulling Natasha down next to her and burying her face in her shoulder.  
  
"OK, first rule - you are not allowed to mention anyone we work with within 15 minutes of my orgasm." she informed Natasha sternly, and Natasha was surprised at her own laughter, bubbling easily forward as she pulled Pepper more securely into her arms, intertwining their legs casually.  
  
It was a terrible position to defend herself from; they'd never get untangled on time if someone attacked.  
  
That was probably OK, though. They were safe here. Despite herself, she trusted these people. Natasha let the calculations and worries flow away, less interesting than the beautiful woman tucked in next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, I accidentally a plot? Or, y'know, half of a plot. 
> 
> Also, who else is worried about the sheer amount of Damsel in Distress in the Iron Man 3 trailer? I hope Pepper gets to be more than just the victim. o_o


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha woke up the instant Pepper did, subconsciously registering the change in breathing patterns; chronic paranoia was a useful trait.

She rolled over to face her, and was rewarded with the sight of tousled red hair complementing the pale brown of her pillow case. Probably, Natasha mused, Pepper had been the one to actually pick it out when Tony decided he wanted to have personalized suites in his tower for the entire team, and had considered exactly what red hair would look like spread out against it.

Pepper blinked at her sleepily, the confusion of waking up in someone else's room written across her face. It was incongruously adorable for a high-powered career woman who looked like she'd recently been in a bar brawl.

"Good morning." Natasha offered, quirking her lips into a smile. 

"Morning." Pepper murmured, smiling back. "I was kidnapped last night." she added in a conversational tone, as though Natasha might have missed it. "And then I had really good sex with my best friend in the aftermath."

"That's true." Natasha acknowledged, waiting to see if this was the beginning of a freakout. After a moment she relaxed, seeing that Pepper was just cataloguing, putting events into their proper context so she could start her day. 

"It'll be interesting to see how today decides to top that." Pepper decided, and scooted in closer to Natasha in a clear bid for affection. Natasha obliged, throwing an arm over her to scratch lightly at her back. Pepper nestled in happily, practically purring.

"M'going to fall back asleep if you do that."

"Alarm's not set to go off for another hour." Natasha replied reasonably. There was no way she was going to fall asleep now that she was up, but that was alright.

In an hour they would get up, and Tony and Clint would smirk and crack dirty jokes for each other's amusement and Natasha would end up having to murder them, which would be easier than usual because Steve would be too embarrassed to stop her. Later she would bring lunch by Pepper's office and hopefully stick around to see the look on her face when she talked to Coulson. And sometime after that another threat would come, and they would all face it together, everyone Natasha cared about watching each other's backs.

The details would work themselves out around that. She had everything she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super short, but I realized that I didn't really have anything left that I wanted this fic to say, I just wanted something short to wrap it up. Although I kind of want to write a sequel about Pepper as the Avenger's handler. ;)
> 
> IDEK. Thanks for putting up with me guys. Usually when I write fanfic, I spend ages elaborately outlining before I start, and I have learned a lesson about making things up as I go. My entire plan for this fic was "ASDJFK ALL THE PEPPER/NATASHA FEELSSSS" and it was a lot of fun, but also did not come together nearly as well.
> 
> Srsly though. All the Pepper/Natasha feels. If anyone wants to die of shipping with me about it, we should totally hang out on tumblr - I'm abcooper there too, come talk to me. ^^


End file.
